Some relationships are a struggle. Most of us have the quintessential struggle relationship: estranged family members, annoying friends of friends, and forced work relationships. They come in all shapes and sizes. Regardless of how great we are at “adulting” we can quickly fall into playing a part in a cyclical sour connection. I’m great at holding grudges and playing an epic Game of Thrones style vengeance, so this comes naturally to me. As much as we all hate Cersei, I can play her quite well – the lioness of the den. But, everyone hates her, including me. Sometimes, these qualities are quite valuable, but for the most part, they don’t always play out well in everyday interactions.
It’s hard for me to pick my battles, I want to fight them all head on. I am not they type to beat around the bush. I despise passive aggressiveness. I can sniff out manipulation like a bomb dog – and I can use it as leverage to pin down any opponent. I am terrible at letting things go. As a result, even when I think I am in top, I am losing out. The journey to the top is always stressful because everything is so calculated. And honestly, relationships rarely improve. Vengeance does feel good, but you’re often left finding new friends. Unless you have “friends” that can fly dragons to keep your mildly entertained. Or maybe you have relatives that are always drunk but very, very wise and funny. #teamtyrrion
This mission trip is testing my resolve and dedication to the path I have set for myself. There are these moments, people, and situations that tempt me into engaging. Okay so even bringing it up in a blog is not entirely “letting it go” but walking away in “a moment” where I would normally engage is a big step for me.
Time and again, a little voice in the back of my head says “you’re not here for them, you’re here for these kids.” The voice is right. A good test occurred right before walking into the classroom this morning. Had I reacted or engaged with the asshattery, it would have been a distraction and I would not have been able to have the connection that I have been so excited to make – the connection with these kids. That is why I am here – these kids.
Maybe Cersei needs to come on a mission trip to Haiti?